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I WANT TO WRITE HEARTS...

 

by Jenn Ifill

 

Ingredients

My lover is a rose: A delicate flower with so much beauty
That it radiates yet there is a strong stem of support as well as thorns to protect and defend.

My lover is an equal.
My lover is growing.
My lover is an open mind.
My lover is hands, veined and strong producing music notes From his nails.
My lover is Whole.
My lover is a demon.
My lover is a gurl and a boy.

My lover is communication.
A Court Jester made of porcelain and silk.
A Stone: firm and smooth like sensitivity.
My lover is rosemary: remembrance.

 

Situation #357 Magnum:

When he spoke, lava poured out of his mouth and fell in cooling pieces at my toes. The one I chose to pick up was pearly gray. I licked it feeling the coolness against my tongue. The licking turned to sucking as his lava poured into my mouth. Searing is a word derived to connect a person with the identity of heat. I felt my insides melt away yet I remained unharmed. I was protected by my thought of what the lava turns into once it cools. The transition of love from physical pain to tactile again could only be alchemy. The tactile is usually given as a gift of remembrance: Rosemary.

Situation #AK-47:

I kept the present he bestowed upon me for my memories of us. It was two pieces of lava. One represented me, the other him. I sighed. It was all I ever did anymore. My time with him had been brief; it had been enough to formulate more theory for my lament. My rule had been to incorporate any residue from the lava rocks I was collecting into my pot of alchemy. The pot was to hold my memories and times until they were needed. They were hidden in another recess of my mind. I only went there in dire situations like this one. I wasnÕt sure how I could go about the impact that I was left with. Someone, a singular entity in the streamline of time had shared a heart with me through the lava. I needed to record these findings and give my self over to my one salvation: Lorde.

 

Situation# 21176:

The Creation of My Life: I have abandoned them both. I am not for mankind. They are a righteous bunch that cannot love the way I want them to. I lost all my energy hoping my lover; the Ultimate Lover would come. But not even the Lorde could give me that. It was to no avail. I had given up. A life of piety was all I could think of. No love, no desire. It was all futile. Left alone, I traveled the
Path wanting to find solace but tormented by my heart. I cut it out and left it for the ravens that were perched on the first tree I saw. Heartless, my life was manageable. I could not make love or have love. The Creation of My Life was complete
.


Mail to Jenn Ifill> jmunster@hotmail.com

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by Bircan Unver. January 2000, New York
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