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*A Text
on Music*
by
Yigit DEMIREL
I think hard. Always. The hardest I could
think of. What do I think of?... Everything that I know
of. Everything that I could handle to think of. I was
not sure why I was doing this painful thinking process
- banging back-and-forth on the corners of my inside of
the brain. But now, I am so sure about it. I think of
everything because there is nothing that I could not think
of - that's why.
At last, it came to an end when I realized
the last motto of my life before I was born again into
something spiritual being who is still living on this
planet so-called Earth.
"Time will teach us, therefore we will
be absorbing the unnecessary information to evolve and
the outcome will be out there for us to destroy them to
begin with again. That is the Mankind's only sad-but-true
destiny."
The only thing that I could not think of the
end is the music. In other words, the Sound-And-Silence
Dialectics. It is naturally endless and comes directly
from God's-own-vocabulary. Many years of progression in
music broadens the areas in our cosmic balance of thinking
process but the needy step has not been taken yet which
should have been the continuation of the new-era called
electronic music. There are many reasons for that but
the most important one is the time. We have to wait till
it decides to take actions for that. As in human thinking
process, we should destroy it to begin with it which means
that we will have a big bag full of useless notes and
rhythms first then we will eliminate the unnecessary ones
to come across one or two usable gate works to open up
our vision and integrity into a new-era. Yes, it is totally
stupid I agree but it is the reality and the worst scenario
could be that I am left to be alone to believe this nonsense
and the others will continue to their moronic way of seeing
and understanding of life unnecessarily. Well, at least
I tried, didn't I?
I remember when I was playing darbouka with
my hometown's Turkish Folk Music Band back in Ordu in
Turkey in 1980s. There were fifteen baglama (turkish guitar-like
string instrument) players in the band and I was the only
one who was playing rhythms. The music was so easy for
me - no major changes in the rhythm at all. After several
concerts and rehearsals, I became like an automatic-player.
I did not listen to music at all after all - just playing
it. I remember so well that one day in one of those rehearsals
prior to a concert, I was concentrated on baglamas' notes
- just listening to the harmonics flying up in the air.
Because they were playing the same melody altogether without
any harmonic difference. At one point of time, I was completely
lost in music. I mean hearingwise I could not follow the
music at all. I was shocked first but then tried to overcome
it but hey zilch!... I was so afraid that I could not
be able to play the darbouka again. You cannot imagine
how afraid I was at that moment unless if you had the
same experience like mine for yourself in your life. Then
I realized that my brain was running so fast. I could
not think straight at all but I was so aware of the paths
I was getting in and out of my thinking process. And in
that particular sharp moment, I heard a voice inside of
my head which was saying something like... "He did
it... he did it." It was not me saying that - it
was something else but not me. Right on that moment, I
turned into the music again and this time I was playing
against the music - changing rhythmical elements like
in a thunder-like fast movements. I remember the leader
of the band was staring at me with boggled-eyes trying
to grasp which way I go musically but he did not stop
the music - he stopped directing the band and started
to watch me. Everyone in the band especially the baglama
players were listening to me as well but they could not
stop playing because I was giving them a new way of hearing
themselves. After we finish the song, the leader of the
band approached me and asked "How could you do that?".
I said that I didn't know but just played. He and the
other players laughed so hard that I became a mascot of
the band after that. I was thinking that voice in my head
for a long time and one day came and they let me in. They
opened the gate for me. They said that they had to do
it otherwise they were so afraid that I could try to suicide
which was partially true but never tried. Who am I talking
about? Well, let's say that the lovers and friends who
are unborn yet or the ones who were born, lived and died
many years ago. In other words - the other side. Then
my second life has begun in both two worlds.
The first information was TWO (2) - (I prefer
not to say who I was talking to and got this information
from.) and the implemetations of TWO in many forms of
evolution. They asked me which path do I want to explore
this knowledge. I said music because I was away from music
for a period of time in that part of my life for the reasons
that was beyond my control and it craved me alot. When
I said music, then the session had begun. I had a keyboard
in my room connected to a computer. They told me to sit
in front of it and listen to them what they say to me.
The first covered subject was the textures. They wanted
me to play a chord. I asked which one. They said they
do not care. I played something on the keyboard - it was
not an actual chord neither then my fingers were moving
by itself passing to another expansion of sounds without
my control. I stopped. I was afraid. They told me to continue.
I was playing something that I never heard of before but
my ears were capturing the connections of the sounds -
in other words, I was hearing the music that was coming
from beyond this world. I could say the music was sounding
like experimental stuff but the difference was you can
actually listen to whole stuff without interrupting your
hearing. There was no pushing force in it to reject it
partially under the systems of normal hearing process.
I asked how come it could happen. They told me that it
is coming from me - the real me. I did not understand
what they were saying but rather chose to continue to
play. It continued like this without interrupting for
almost ten hours. Then I was asked by inserting my finger
into a shiny light which was shown on my left shoulder.
I turned around and put my finger into this shiny light.
It was moving inside of the light but there was no angle
or route in its motion - floating within it so freely.
When I put my finger in it, I realized that some kind
of electricity was coming into my body through the light.
I was afraid and took my finger back. They said that I
do not have to be afraid of it and continue to insert
my finger into it. I said why? They said that I almost
finished my holy energy which was given to me from God
when I was born like everyone else. I do not want to explain
why it could have been happened like this but rather to
say that everyone has bad times in his/her life. Anyways,
I believe that I took more energy than I normally needed
and they said it was enough. After that, I started to
talk to them. I do not know how many of them were with
me at that time. I started to talk so fast too. It was
so different for me because I had a stammering disfunctionality
when I was in my childhood - still has it but so rarely.
The roommates realized it so easily when I got out of
my room and tried to converse with them. They started
to think like I have gone crazy. They had a right to think
like that because they did not know what I was told to.
I could not explain every conversation to you that I had
with them because if I do, I cannot finish these pages.
Later on, I stayed with them for a little bit long time
which means that I was being alienated from the people
and lived only with them day and night.
I discovered many secrets in music. And I
understood that I have to share them with other people
through my music and in other art forms. But there is
one topic that I have to make a comment of it...
In music, The most important thing is the
speed. When the potential energy of the music turns out
to be the kinetic then we start to hear it totally different
than before. The sound becomes like liquid and you do
not have a control out of it. Not a bit. You could just
follow it where it moves to and it is fascinating but
at the same time, it is so dangerous too because you could
go somewhere that there is no point of turning-back anymore.
So you have to have that control power in you otherwise
you go berserk. Yes it is. It really is. You have to pass
the test to gain this gift. The test is about your good
things and the bad things that you did in your lifetime
and the sum of it defines your credibility for using the
force and how much usage of it that it is given to you
by God.
The deepest bottom of this knowledge comes
from brotherhood and sisterhood or in other words the
friendship of the universe. It is a secret but it is not
in a way neither. Everyone knows it but do not care to
think about it most of the time. We choose who we are
and what we are. Honesty is the crucial element of getting
the universal secrets. The rest is the mysterious cosmic
system which only God controls of.
Love Peace And Eternity For Every Living Being.
May The Feza Be With You.
||*||
E-mail
to Yigit Demirel: yigitdemirel@yahoo.com
©Yigit
Demirel, 2002
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