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Mirror

by Alda F. XAVIER

I

In the beginning when life was new;

Her forked tongued words I thought true

Making me who I am today,

And who I try never to be.

They showed me anger, pain and shame,

Casting me out of youthís paradise.

I remember I was there

I was Eve and she was me.

 

II

I sought fair guidance in the moonlight

And in its worshiping foresight.

I found reason a new wisdom

In my secret mid-night escapes

The moon my friend and companion

Became my goddess and keeper.

I remember I was there

Sage Diana ñ she was me.

 

III

My prayers were answered without flaw

Destinies sealed as if by law.

In my first loveís imagining

And in its bliss of caring deep

Empowered me fabulous queen.

My pyramid built . . . my tomb erected . . .

I remember I was there . . .

Cleopatra, she was me.

 

IV

My love denied exposed my lust.

In despair I bartered trust;

A dance divine I promised set

Erasing tears and swaying hearts.

Yet I saw within that dervish

Silver platter nightmares of betrayal.

I remember I was there

Salomé! Yes, she was me.

 

V

That door was shut, dark times came out;

From that precipice I didst shout

Hailing the winds that brought me hither.

Shawlled in black, I casted runes,

Evoked the old ones, seized the fire;

Seeking dint magic to carry me on.

I remember I was there

Loí Morgana, she was me.

VI

The voices of angels I did hear

Coming from far, yet feeling near;

Gentle words that summoned me forth

To venture out and face the world.

Vested in courage and fortitude,

I donned armor and took up the shield.

I remember I was there

Joan of Arc, and she was me.

 

VII

My battles were won -- my pride restored.

I indulged whims my soul implored.

I toughened my heart, hard as stone

Never to break, sever or bleed.

My eyes were closed to all but one,

Selfishly, I cared not who I stepped on

I remember I was there

Brave Antoinette, she was me.

 

VIII

In my attempt to be truly free,

The first and best I dared to be.

I flew the skies above all wrongs;

Discovering then the joys of life.

Contentment elated my air-heart,

As I challenged the odds of destiny.

I remember I was there

Yes, Amelia.  She was me.

 

IX

In the spotlight I could be found

Forlorn damsel, cinema bound.

My smiles, my tears - no longer true

I did not know who I should be.

I craved answers -- a reason why,

And a final peace in my remedy.

I remember I was there

Marilyn too, she was me.

 

X

So here I stand before my mirror

Strange images that now seem clear:

Bits and traces of their faces,

Foreign places I left behind,

Lessons learnt and bridges crossed

Carving their mark within me forever.

I remember I was there

I was them and they are me.

 

This poem was read by Alda F. XAVIER during "A Poetry Breeze The Shores of Turkey"
event at the Turkish House in New York on May 2, 2001.
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@The Light Millennium magazine was created and designed
by Bircan ÜNVER. 6th issue. Summer 2001, New York.
URL: http://www.lightmillennium.org