Just a few simple moments....

by Pamela BROUSSARD

I remember standing on the train in my high heels, thinking about how badly my feet might hurt later and wishing someone would get off so I could sit down and delay the pain.  Doesn't anyone know how ruined my feet are from walking through the streets of New York City?  Please!!

Then I saw a woman walking through the train station, her crippled feet dragging with each step.  She was dressed as though for work and carrying what looked to be her lunch.  In that moment I thought of how fortunate I was. That wearing high heels is a choice for me. That each step I take is not so much effort as it is for this woman. That the stuggle that exists there is such a solemn burden.

I asked for healing for her.  That she be given the strength to continue to endure what she must in her life.  That she be blessed for not giving in to giving up.  That her life be filled with sunshine, even in the rain.

There are blessings even in the simplest of offerings.  I was on the A-train, headed back to Brooklyn from a day in the City.  The trains were full so I ended up standing (again).  With each stop, more people got on the train.  Finally, the train came to a station where people got off.  As the seats were vacated, I headed toward an empty spot, ready to get off my feet and rest.  I arrived at the seat just as another woman prepared to take the seat.  Seeing me she said "Oh, I'm sorry".  I told her to go ahead and take the seat.  She insisted saying "It's OK, take it"...so I did.

I asked that she be given the blessings she deserved for offering the smallest of kindnesses to a complete stranger.  I think this woman was simply being the kind person she is each day in her life.  Never knowing how meaningful the little acts of love she showers on others are.

Another day, I was on the train (always on the train!) and a man stood to speak.  I lightly rolled my eyes thinking.... here we go again.  Another speech by a panhandler looking for a handout.   The man did not speak eloquently.  He did not speak with confidence or intellegence.  His voice was meek, his words simple.

As he passed me, I looked up and what I saw at once filled me with such sadness, and such gratefulness. The man was not clean.  His old and tattered clothing had not been washed in a very long time. His body was ashen from the dust of the city, his gait unsteady. His eyes were so hollow, the eyes of a broken man.  A man resigned to a life of emptiness, never moving beyond begging to survive, never again seeing the light he once knew as a child full of hope. 

That man allowed me to feel my blessings.  I was in that instant so grateful that I had been given so much and had never fallen to where this man now lived each of his days.  Looking at him, I knew how much fortune I had been given in my life.  That I could speak with intellegence, had hope for the future, knew where my next meal would come from, and had a warm bed to fall into each night.  I asked  that this man be given the power he needed in his life to see again.  That he be given the peace he needed to see with a new clarity.  That he feel real love again.  That he know real caring again. 

Every day, is a opportunity to learn from our experiences.  So often in this world we become trapped into thinking our lessons will come from a middle-aged guy standing at a podium in a prestigious auditorium.

But the most valued of what we acquire in this life is gained through the most unlikely of sources, and at the most unexpected times.  We have only to be open, to tear down the borders that are often built around us from the time we are very young. 

It is a priceless gift, that we can give to ourselves.  A gift that inevitably makes it easy for us to give to others.

One of the best examples of this came to me a few years ago while I was at a conference in Las Vegas, Nevada.  I was returning from my morning trip to the gym.  I entered the elevator and began a conversation with a man there.  It was very brief.  We said hello, I said that it was nice to have sunshine this day instead of the rain we had yesterday.  The man looked at me and said, "Every day above ground is a good day." and got off the elevator on his floor.

I did not know what the significance of his statement was at that moment, but I knew I had just been given a gift.  It was much later that I realized that my lesson, what I needed to learn about me from that 30 second ride in an elevator with a stranger, was that I was complaining. I never looked at it that way before, never realized it.  But there it was.  It was a huge lesson for my life.  I became conscious of my complaints and began to stop them before they developed.  I changed the words I used, the statements I made, and in doing so, the way I thought about so much of life.

It was unexpected, and it occurred in the most unlikely of places. But it was huge for my life. And so it is...

Feel the love.  Always, feel the love.

About Pamela BROUSSARD:

I was born in Seattle, Washington, have lived in Germany, California, Texas, and now call New York City home. I have felt drawn to NYC since I was a child. Felt it was where I belonged.  A couple years ago I decided it was time to be here.  So this past summer, I resigned from my job of 14 years, gave away most of what I own, and moved from Seattle to New York City with two suitcases, no job, and no place to live.  And now......I am in a place I can truly call home. 

My passions are writing, reading, theatre, live music, nature, architecture, and a sincere love for people. I love anything creative or done in excellence as well as the simplest flight of a butterfly.  I hate to shop, love shoes, enjoy the exploration of different cultures, and have a sinful lust for dark chocolate cake (making the time I spend in the gym a very good thing).  I see France in my future but am not sure what that means for me yet.

In my work life, I have done everything from driving forklifts, to manging people, to working as a business analyst.  My thirst for knowledge always leads me to new learning opportunities and this year I completed a program in Technical Writing.  Work is what I do and not who I am.  The important contributions we make in this life we make in each moment.

In short.....this is me.  Grateful to be here, realizing what is important in my life, and most importantly, living it every day.

E-mail: InThisLife11@aol.com
© November 2002, Pamela Broussard, New York City